nìxiàng de xīgài

Zuótiān wǒ qù wàimiàn chī wǎnfàn. Zài nàlǐ wǒ kàn dàole yī zhǐ xiǎo māo. Tā quánshēn dōu shì báisè de, zhǐyǒu hòuzhī de yī xiǎo kuài er dìfāng shì huīsè de. Yóuyú nàgè dìfāng lí nà zhǐ xiǎo māo de xīgài hěn jìn, suǒyǐ xíngzhuàng xiàng xīn yuè.

Dànshì wǒ juédé māo de hòuzhī wānqū de fāngxiàng bùtóng yú wǒmen de. Wǒ bù zhīdào, fǎn xiàng de xīgài hái néng jiào xīgài ma?

逆向的膝盖

昨天我去外面吃晚饭。在那里我看到了一只小猫。它全身都是白色的，只有后肢的一小块儿地方是灰色的。由于那个地方离那只小猫的膝盖很近，所以形状像新月。

但是我觉得猫的后肢弯曲的方向不同于我们的。我不知道，反向的膝盖还能叫膝盖吗？

reversed knee

Yesterday when I went out to grab dinner, I saw a kitten. Its body was all white, except a small spot on one of its hind leg was grey. Due to its location which was near the kitten's knee, the spot was crescent-like in shape.

But I think cats' hind legs are bent differently from ours. I don't know, is a reversed knee still called a knee?

qīfù

Wǒ bān dàole yīgè xīn dì dìfāng. Wǒ de yīgè shìyou shuō, wǒ zhù zài zhèlǐ zhīqián, tāmen wǔ gèrén měi yuè zhǐ hè liù jiālún shuǐ. Dànshì xiànzài yǒu wǒ zài zhèlǐ, wǒmen shuǐ měi yuè yào yòng shíyī jiālún. Tā yào wǒ zhīfù liǎng bèi měi shìyou zhīfù de jīn'é.

Shénjīngbìng a! Rúguǒ zhēn xiàng tā shuō dì nàyàng, nà wǒ yīgè rén hē wǔ jiālún shuǐ, ér qítā rén gè hè yī diǎn èr jiālún shuǐ! Zhè yìwèizhe wǒ hē de shuǐ shì qítā rén de sì bèi! Wǒ zěnme huì hēle nàme duō shuǐ?

欺负

我搬到了一个新的地方。我的一个室友说，我住在这里之前，他们五个人每月只喝六加仑水。但是现在有我在这里，我们水每月要用十一加仑。她要我支付两倍每室友支付的金额。

神经病啊！如果真像她说的那样，那我一个人喝五加仑水，而其他人各喝一点二加仑水！这意味着我喝的水是其他人的四倍！我怎么会喝了那么多水？

bullied

So I moved to this new place. One of my new roommates spoke to me, before I moved in, the five of them only consumed 6 gallons of water each month. But now our drinking water bill increases to 11 gallons per month. She wanted me to pay twice the amount that is paid by other room dwellers.

This woman must have lost her good mind! If what she said was true then I drank 5 gallons alone, while others drank 1.2 gallons each! It means I drank more than four times everyone else did! How was I able to drink that much water?

zhǐ xūyào yītiān, nà... hěn lìhài a

Wǒ de àirén gāngcái jiǎngle zhè gùshì. Zài tā chūshēng de qián yītiān, zài yīyuàn, yǒu yīgè nǚrén shēng xiàle yīgè bǎobǎo. Tā zhǎng de gēn tā de mǔqīn shì rúcǐ xiāngsì. Hùshì rènwéi tāmen liǎ shì xiāngtóng de yīgèrén, shì nàgè zàicì jìnrù dàichǎn shì, dàfùpiánbiàn de nǚrén!

只需要一天，那。。。很厉害啊

我的爱人刚才讲了这故事。在他出生的前一天，在医院，有一个女人生下了一个宝宝。她长得跟他的母亲是如此相似。护士认为他们俩是相同的一个人，是那个再次进入待产室，大腹便便的女人！

just in one day, that's... amazing

My lover just told me this story. In a hospital, one day before he was born, there had been another woman whose face bore uncanny resemblance to his mother gave birth to a baby. The nurse thought they are the same girl, who once again entered the labor room with inflated tummy!

kělián de tā

Jǐ tiān qián wǒ shōukàn yīgè bǐsài zài huángjiā guǎngchǎng. Nà shì zàoxíng zǒuxiù de bǐsài. Cānsài xuǎnshǒu yī zì pái kāi zài shēnzhǎn tái zǒuxiù. Dànshì tīngzhòng jué dé wúliáo bìngqiě kāishǐ líkāi nǎlǐ zhǐshì zuìhòu xuǎnshǒu chūxiàn de shíhou. Wǒ kàn dàole tā fènnù hé shēngqì de liǎn.

可怜的她

几天前我收看一个比賽在皇家广场。那是造型走秀的比賽。参赛选手一字排开在伸展台走秀。但是听众覺得无聊並且开始离开哪里只是最后选手出现的时候。我看到了她愤怒和生气的脸。

poor her

A few days ago I saw a competition at Royal Plaza. It was a catwalk modelling competition. Contestants lined up and took turn to sway their legs on the catwalk. But the audience got bored and began leaving just as last contestant showed up. I could see look of anger and disappointment at her face.

wǒ bù xǐhuan húzi

Wǒ bù xǐhuan kàn nánrén de húzi, húxū, cānjù guì hé chákǒu. Wúlùn duōme zhěngqí gānjìng, yǒu nàgè shǐ nánrén kàn qǐlái péngtóugòumiàn.

我不喜欢胡子

我不喜欢看男人的胡子，胡须，餐具柜和茬口。无论多么整齐干净，有那个使男人看起来蓬头垢面。

i dislike mustaches

I don't like seeing mustaches, beards, sideboards or even stubbles on men. Having them makes men look unkempt, no matter how well-groomed he actually is.

ròugāxǔ

Zài wǒ de guójiā yǒu yīgè pǐnpái de dànhuáng jiàng tiáowèi yāoguǒ, jiào “Ròugāxǔ”. Chúle dànhuáng jiàng wèi, hái yǒu xǔduō wèidào, dànshì dànhuáng jiàng kǒuwèi de yāoguǒ shì zuì měiwèi de.

Wǒ xiànzài jīhū néng gǎnshòu dào tā de wèidào yíngrào zài wǒ de chún jiān.

肉嘎许

在我的国家有一个品牌的蛋黄酱调味腰果，叫《肉嘎许》。除了蛋黄酱味，还有许多味道，但是蛋黄酱口味的腰果是最美味的。

我现在几乎能感受到它的味道萦绕在我的唇间。

rostcas

In my country there is a line of mayonnaise-flavored cashew nuts. Its name is Rostcas. Actually they have many flavors other than mayonnaise, but nothing comes close to its deliciousness.

In fact I can almost feel it on the tip of my tongue while typing this.

lǎo sè guǐ

Wǒ hé wǒ de àirén jīngcháng jiǎng yīxiē guānyú lǎo sè guǐ de xiàohuà. Zhèxiē lǎo sè guǐ tōngcháng dōu fēicháng kěwàng niánqīng nǚrén. Dànshì zhè yǐnqǐle wǒ de sīkǎo. Jīntiān wǒ hěn xìnggǎn hěn piàoliang, sìshí nián hòu ne? Nà shí wǒ de àirén huì bù huì yě chéngwéi lǎo sè guǐ?

老色鬼

我和我的爱人经常讲一些关于老色鬼的笑话。这些老色鬼通常都非常渴望年轻女人。但是这引起了我的思考。今天我很性感很漂亮，四十年后呢？ 那时我的爱人会不会也成为老色鬼？

dirty old men

My lover and I often exchange jokes about dirty old men and their thirst for young girls' affection. But that got me thinking. Today I am sexy and pretty, what will happen forty years from now, won't my lover himself be one of those dirty old men?