jièshào wǒ wèilái de lǚxíng huǒbàn

Wǒ de yìnní péngyǒu bù zài cānjiā hànyǔ péixùn bān yīnwèi tā de bàngōngshì bān dàole qítā dìfāng. Tā shuō xīn de bàngōng dìdiǎn lí péixùn bān tài yuǎnle, huì zài lùshàng huāfèi dàliàng de shíjiān.

Wǒ quàn tā jìxù cānjiā péixùn bān. "Wǒmen yīqǐ qù zhōngguó de suǒyǒu dà chéngshì ba," wǒ shuō: "Wǒmen xūyào nǐ hé wǒ liǎng gèrén kěyǐ qīngsōng de qiēhuàn chéng pǔtōnghuà móshì."

介绍我未来的旅行伙伴

我的印尼朋友不再参加汉语培训班因为她的办公室搬到了其他地方。她说新的办公地点离培训班太远太远了，会在路上花费大量的时间。

我劝她继续参加培训班。「我们一起去中国的所有大城市吧，」我说：「我们需要你和我两个人可以轻松的切换成普通话模式。」

my future travel buddy

A friend stopped attending her Chinese classes due to her office moved to another place. She said this new workplace was too far away, costing her more time on the road.

I urged her to continue. "Let's visit all the big cities in China together," I said: "For that, we need two heads that can be switched into Mandarin speaking mode at the snap of fingers."

zài fàndiàn diǎnle zhāngyú bǎoluó

Zhōngguó yǒu hùliánwǎng shěnchá zhìdù jiàozuò fánghuǒ chángchéng. Wǒ zhè gè yuèchū qù zhōngguó de shíhòu, gǔgē lián bù shàng. Zhè duì bù huì shuō zhōngwén de yóukè tài máfanle: Lián gǔgē fānyì dōu bùnéng yòng.

Xìngkuī wǒ zhīdào bǎidù de wǎngzhǐ. Dàn hěn yíhàn de wǒ bù tài huì yòng nàgè, suǒyǐ méiyǒu fānyì rènhé yīgè zì, zhǐ néng yòng tā de sōusuǒ gōngnéng.

Chīle yīdào yòng xūn niúròu zuò de cài hòu, wǒ xiǎng zhīdào nàgè cài rúguǒ yòng xiā, wūzéi, hái yǒu zhāngyú, méi yòng xūn niúròu, shì bùshì yě zhème hào chī. Suǒyǐ wǒ yòng bǎidù sōusuǒle nà zhǒng hǎiyáng shēngwù de zhàopiàn, ránhòu bǎocún zài shǒujī shàng. Xià cì qù nàgè fàndiàn, wǒ kěyǐ gěi fúwùyuán kàn kàn.

Nà càisè dé fēicháng měiwèi, dàn dāng wǒ wǎnshàng tōngcháng kàn shǒujī shí, wǒ fāxiàn zìjǐ shǐyòngle zhāngyú bǎoluó de zhàopiàn, zhège zuì shòu quán shìjiè xǐ'ài de zhāngyú.

在饭店点了章鱼保罗

中国有互联网审查制度叫做防火长城。我这個月初去中国的時候，谷歌連不上。这对不會说中文的游客太麻烦了：連谷歌翻译都不能用。

幸亏我知道百度的网址。但很遗憾的我不太會用那個，所以沒有翻译任何一個字，只能用它的搜索功能。

吃了一道用熏牛肉做的菜后，我想知道那个菜如果用虾，乌贼，还有章鱼，没用熏牛肉，是不是也这么好吃。所以我用百度搜索了那种海洋生物的照片，然后保存在手机上。下次去那个饭店，我可以给服务员看看。

那菜色得非常美味，但当我晚上通常看手机时，我发现自己使用了章鱼保罗的照片，这个最受全世界喜爱的章鱼。

ordering paul the octopus at the restaurant

So in China there's a strict censorship called The Greal Firewall. During my visit earlier this month Google isn't accessible there. Which is a huge problem for non-Chinese-speaking visitors: no Google translate whatsoever.

Luckily, I knew Baidu's URL. Unluckily, I could only operate the very basics, so I've never get it to translate a word. I can only search things up.

After tasting a certain dish with smoked beef, I was wondering if the dish would turn out fine should the ingredients be changed to shrimp, squid, and octopus. So I baidu-ed images of those sea creatures and save them to my phone to be shown to the waiter the next ocassion.

The dish turned out to be superb, but as I browsed my phone that night as I usually do every single day, I realized I have used the picture of Paul the Octopus, the world's most loved octopus.

qǐngwèn chōu rèn kǎ

Dāng nǐ lǚxíng dào yǔyán bùtōng de guójiā shí, nǐ kěyǐ yòng 'qǐngwèn chōu rèn kǎ'. Qǐngwèn chōu rèn kǎ bāohán nǐ xiǎng qù dì dìfāng de zhàopiàn, nǐ xiǎng chī de shíwù de zhàopiàn yǐjí nǐ xiǎng mǎi de dōngxī de zhàopiàn, děng děng. Wǒ jiào tāmen qǐngwèn chōu rèn kǎ shì yóuyú liǎng gè yuányīn. Dì yī gè, tāmen de chǐcùn hé chōu rèn kǎ shì yīyàng de. Dì èr gè, yòng nàgè kǎ wèn běndì rén: "Qǐngwèn, nǐ zhīdào zài nǎlǐ kěyǐ mǎi dào zhège?" Wǒ méiyǒu bǎocún nàxiē zhàopiàn zài shǒujī shàng shì yīnwèi wǒ xiǎng wéihù shǒujī diànchí, hái yǒu xiǎng bìmiǎn qiǎngjié de kěnéng.

请问抽认卡

当你旅行到语言不通的国家时，你可以用《请问抽认卡》。请问抽认卡包含你想去的地方的照片，你想吃的食物的照片以及你想买的东西的照片，等等。我叫它们请问抽认卡是由于两个原因。第一个，它们的尺寸和抽认卡是一样的。第二个，用那个卡问本地人：「请问，你知道在哪里可以买到这个？」我没有保存那些照片在手机上是因为我想维护手机电池，还有想避免抢劫的可能。

qingwen flashcards

... Are helpful when you're travelling to a country of which language you're not familiar with. Those are pictures of places you'd like to visit, food you want to eat, to-buy-list, etc. I call these qingwen flashcards because of two reasons. First, mine are the size of flashcards. Second, using the cards to ask locals for directions I start my sentence with "Qing wen, do you know where I can ...?" I don't use the phone to store those to preserve battery and to avoid phone snatchers.

juédé zìjǐ xiàng gè huāhuā gōngzǐ

Nǐ kàn shàngqù shì yǒuhǎo qiě cōngmíng de rén. Biérén kěyǐ bǎ shíqíng gàosù zhèyàng de rén, ér bù xūyào yòng shànyì de huǎngyán.
-- Měi jí·jiékè --

Zhè cōngmíng de rén xūyào biérén shànyì de huǎngyán.
-- wǒ --

Wǒ xǐhuān shàngle yīgè ànmó shī de jìqiǎo. "Wǒ xià cì lái zhèlǐ, zěnme cáinéng ràng nǐ gěi wǒ ànmó, ér bùshì biérén?" wǒ nàyàng wèn tā, shì xiǎng zhīdào tā de míngzì.

"Zhèlǐ de zuì pàng shì wǒ," tā huídá: "Nǐ yīdìng bù huì rèncuò rén."

"Nǐ shì xīwàng wǒ qù qiántái zhǎo zhèlǐ zuì pàng de nǚhái ma?"

Tā wéixiàozhe gàosùle wǒ tā de míngzì.

觉得自己像个花花公子

你看上去是友好且聪明的人。别人可以把实情告诉这样的人，而不需要用善意的谎言。
--美極·捷克--

这聪明的人需要别人善意的谎言。
--我--

我喜欢上了一个按摩师的技巧。「我下次来这里，怎么才能让你给我按摩，而不是别人？」我那样问她，是想知道她的名字。

「这里的最胖是我，」她回答：「你一定不会认错人。」

「你是希望我去前台找这里最胖的女孩吗？」

她微笑着告诉了我她的名字。

already feel like a playa!

You seem like a nice, intelligent person who can handle the blunt truth in all its glory instead of needing someone to sugar coat everything and feed it to you with a silver spoon.
-- Maggi Checco --

I am an intelligent person and I need everything fed to me sugar coated. On a silver spoon, please!
-- me --

I fell in love with a particular masseuse's skill. "How do I make sure that the next time I go here, it's you that will be massaging me, not the others?" I asked her, determined to know her name.

"I've the biggest body here," said the voluptuous lady: "There's no way you'll have me mixed up with the others."

"You don't really expect me going up to the receptionist area and ask for the biggest girl around, do you?"

She giggled and gave me her name.

qīnghuācí liányīqún

"Nà, nǚhái zěnmeliǎo?"
-- Huí Dào Dìqiú --

Yìnní yǒu yīgè shíshàng cháoliú: Sà lā táocí liányīqún. Wǒ bù gǎn kěndìng zhè zhēn de shì nà cháo pái zhìzào de, yīnwèi zài zhèlǐ yǒu hěnduō jiǎ huò. Bùguò, nà tiáo liányīqún díquè hěn xiàng qīnghuācí.

Zuìchū wǒ bìng bùxiǎng mǎi, yīn wéi hàipà chuān qǐlái xiàng chuān shuìyī. Dàn zuìhòu háishì mǎile nà tiáo liányīqún, xiǎng zàixià zhōumò chuān tā.

Dàole zhōumò qì sǐ wǒle, yīnwèi wǒ kàn jiàn liǎo bù shǎo yú wǔ gè nǚhái chuānzhuó gēn wǒ wánquán yīyàng liányīqún!

青花瓷连衣裙

"那，女孩怎么了？"
-- 回到地球 --

印尼有一个时尚潮流： 飒拉陶瓷连衣裙。我不敢肯定这真的是那潮牌制造的，因为在这里有很多假货。不过，那条连衣裙的确很像青花瓷。

最初我并不想买，因为害怕穿起来像穿睡衣。但最后还是买了那条连衣裙，想在下周末穿它。

到了周末气死我了，因为我看见了不少于五个女孩穿着跟我完全一样连衣裙！

china blue dress

"What about the girls?"
-- Return to the Earth --

There's a recent fashion trend in y country: Zara ceramic dress. I can't say for sure that it's really made by the popular brand, for Indonesians are notorious for brand hijacking, but the dress indeed looks like China blue.

At first I was reluctant to buy it, I was afraid it'd look like sleeping gown when worn.

I bought it anyway with the intention to wear it the next weekend. The day came, and lo', I encountered not less than five other women wearing the exact same dress!