M&M's

M&M's chocolate

Wǒ zhàn zài M&M jíxiáng wù páng pāile zhāng zhàopiàn, ránhòu wǒ gěi wǒ de péngyǒu kàn.

Tā shuō: "Liǎng rénwù zhǎng de dōu yīyàng a!"

=__= Zhēnshi de, kàn lái yòu yào jiéshíle!


M&M's


我站在M&M吉祥物旁拍了张照片,然后我给我的朋友看。

他说:「两人物长的都一样啊!」

=__= 真是的,看来又要节食了!



M&M's


I showed a friend a picture of me standing side by side with the gigantic red M&M's mascot.

"You two are similar," he said.

=__= Really, it seems I have to go on a diet!

jīnnián de guānggùn jié

single's day shopping

Yīgè péngyǒu wèn: "Nǐ zuìjìn hái hǎo ma?"

Wǒ huídá tā: "Hái hǎo, zhǐyǒu diǎn wúliáole."

Tā wèn wǒ: "Wèishéme?"

"Yīnwèi guānggùn jié yào dàole, rénmen dōu zài wǎngshàng gòuwù. Chúle xiāofèi zhǔyì, rénshēng lùshàng hái yīnggāi yǒu qítā shìqíng," wǒ shuōdao. Jǐ miǎo zhǒng hòu wǒ bǔchōng dào, "Wǒ dehuà tīng shàngqù xiàng shì yī míng gòngchǎn zhǔyì zhě bù?"


今年的光棍节


一个朋友问:「你最近还好吗?」

我回答他:「还好,只有点无聊了。」

他问我:「为什么?」

「因为光棍节要到了,人们都在网上购物。除了消费主义,人生路上还应该有其他事情,」我说道。几秒种后我补充道,「我的话听上去像是一名共产主义者不?」



single's day this year


A friend asked me why when I answered 'a little bored' to his question "How are you lately?"

I answered "People around me are shopping online for Single's Day. I feel bored because there should be something in life other than consumerism. Now I sound like a commie, don't I?"

007: èmó sìfú

spectre

Zhānmǔsī·bāng dé xìliè zuìxīn de yǐngpiàn hěn yīn chénchén. Quēfá zhíwù.

Wǒ juédé, cóng dānní'ěr·kè léi gé bànyǎn 007 kāishǐ,007 jiù yǐjīng xíngchéngle gùdìng móshì: Zài diànyǐng zhōng, tā bìxū jīngshòu kǔxíng. Zhè cì hàipà yáyī de rén zhèngshíle tāmen de kǒngjù, yīnwèi zhè diànyǐng de xíngjù xiàng yáyī de yá zuàn yīyàng de.

Hái yǒu, mò nī kǎ·bèi lǔ qí méiyǒu zài shàng qián de 007 yǐngpiàn “dàpò tiānmù shājī” zhòng chūxiàn ma?


007:惡魔四伏


詹姆斯·邦德系列最新的影片很阴沉沉。缺乏植物。

我觉得,从丹尼尔·克雷格扮演007开始,007就已经形成了固定模式:在电影中,他必须经受苦刑。这次害怕牙医的人证实了他们的恐惧,因为这电影的刑具像牙医的牙钻一样的。

还有,莫妮卡·贝鲁奇没有在上前的007影片《大破天幕杀机》中出现吗?



spectre


James Bond's newest movie is dark, gloomy, and lack of green plants.

I think it becomes the norm since Daniel Craig took the rule that 007 must be tortured on screen. This time viewers who are already afraid of going to dentists can validate their fear, for the device used for torturing purposes in this movie resembles a dentist's drill.

Also, wasn't Monica Bellucci in the movie before? Skyfall.

gāngà de wǔfàn

restaurant menu

Jīntiān wǒ zài yījiā cāntīng chī wǔfàn shí, wǒ kàn dàole yǐqián de dàxué jiǎngshī. Tā méiyǒu jiàoguò wǒ dàn hé wǒ chī wǔfàn de péngyǒu mǎshàng rèn chūle tā.

Zhè chǔjìng zhēn gāngà ya! Wǒ juédìng shì'érbùjiàn. Rúguǒ wǒ gēn tā dǎzhāohū dehuà, nà tā jiù huì kàn dào wǒ péngyǒu, bìngqiě fāxiàn wǒ péngyǒu shì tā céngjīng jiàoguò de xuéshēng què bùxiǎng gēn tā dǎzhāohū. Yàoshi zhèyàng dehuà jiù bù hǎole.

Nǐmen zěnme yàng, zuìjìn yǒu méiyǒu xiànrù zhè zhǒng gāngà de chǔjìng?


尴尬的午饭


今天我在一家餐厅吃午饭时,我看到了以前的大学讲师。他没有教过我但和我吃午饭的朋友马上认出了他。

这处境真尴尬呀!我决定视而不见。如果我跟他打招呼的话,那他就会看到我朋友,并且发现我朋友是他曾经教过的学生却不想跟他打招呼。要是这样的话就不好了。

你们怎么样,最近有没有陷入这种尴尬的处境?



awkward lunch


So I saw an ex-lecturer of my ex-university while having lunch at a restaurant today. He had never taught me, but my friend who I was having lunch with recognized him instantly.

Frozen in awkward situation, I decided to do nothing. It would not be good if I greeted him and brought attention to my friend, who's been his student but didn't want to greet him.

How about you? Any awkward situation you're having lately?

kùrè nánnài

shallot

Jīntiān wǒ qí chē jīngguò yīgè dàxíng shùzì wēndù pái shí tàiyáng zǎoyǐ xī xià. Shàngmiàn xiǎnshì: Mùqián wēndù èrshíjiǔ shèshìdù.

Nánguài wǒ hàn rú yǔ xià, ér wǒ de àirén sànfàzhe yī gǔ duò suì de máo cōng de wèi er!


酷热难耐


今天我骑车经过一个大型数字温度牌时太阳早已西下。上面显示:目前温度二十九摄氏度。

难怪我汗如雨下,而我的爱人散发着一股剁碎的毛葱的味儿!



the weather is too hot


The sun has long set when I rode past a giant digital announcement board today. 29 Celcius degree, it said.

No wonder I sweated like crazy and my lover smelled like minced shallots!

yìnní de jiàng tóu -- dì èr bùfèn

carrots

Bókè yǒu yīduàn shíjiān méi gēngxīnle. Zhè cì ràng wǒ gàosù nǐ yīgè yǒuguān wǔshí duō suì de nǚrén de gùshì. Tā zǒng shì gēn rén jiǎng tā shì duōme dì měilì, hái xǐhuān shuō zìjǐ pífū méiyǒu zhòuwén, lián shēngchēng èrshí duō suì de niánqīng xiǎohuǒ dōu xiǎng zhuīqiú zìjǐ. Tā gōngkāi chēng yìnní nà zhǒng jiào 'shūshu' de wū shù ràng tā déyǐ bǎochí měimào.

Kě wèntí shì, suǒyǒu rén dōu kěyǐ kànjiàn tā liǎn shàng de zhòuwén, érqiě tā de zhòuwén jiù xiàng shì zài bīngxiāng lǐ fàngle yīgè yuè de húluóbo de zhězhòu shì de.

Wǒ xiǎng, nàgè fǎshù zhǐshì ràng tā de nǎozi huò yǎnjīng míhúle.

Rén kěyǐ wéi le qián zuò chū zhème kěpà de shìqíng. Shènzhì lián quēfá ānquán gǎn de lǎo nǚrén yě bù fàngguò, bùxī tōngguò qīpiàn tā lái huòqǔ jīnqián.


印尼的降头 -- 第二部分


博客有一段时间没更新了。这次让我告诉你一个有关五十多岁的女人的故事。她总是跟人讲她是多么的美丽,还喜欢说自己皮肤没有皱纹,连声称二十多岁的年轻小伙都想追求自己。她公开称印尼那种叫《叔叔》的巫术让她得以保持美貌。

可问题是,所有人都可以看见她脸上的皱纹,而且她的皱纹就像是在冰箱里放了一个月的胡萝卜的褶皱似的。

我想,那个法术只是让她的脑子或眼睛迷糊了。

人可以为了钱做出这么可怕的事情。甚至连缺乏安全感的老女人也不放过,不惜通过欺骗她来获取金钱。



indonesian black magic -- part two


Haven’t updated in a while! This time I will tell you about a fifty-something woman I know who keeps telling everyone how pretty she is, wrinkle-free, chased by men half her age, etc. She publicly praised herself for using Indonesian black magic 'susuk' to keep her beautiful.

The problem is, everyone can see that she is wrinkly. As in carrots you forget on the fridge after month-long holiday wrinkly.

I think the only thing that susuk done right was messing with her head or eyesight.

Scary what people can do for money, even going as far as conning an insecure old lady.

tā xiǎng yào qù zhōngguó xuéxí zhōngwén

foreigners study mandarin in china

Nǐ kěnéng hěn nàn xiāngxìn xiàmiàn de gùshì, dànshì wǒ xiàng nǐ bǎozhèng, zhè shì zhēn de.

Dàyuē yīgè xīngqí qián, wǒ de yīgè péngyǒu zài lùntán lǐ fāle yīgè tiē zǐ, tā xiǎng zhīdào lùntán li yǒu méiyǒu péngyǒu dàoguò zhōngguó xuéxí zhōngwén.

Jiēzhe, qùguò zhōngguó dì nàxiē rén yīgè jiē yīgè de màole chūlái, dàn què zì gù zì de gēn qítā rén liáole qǐlái. Zhídào tāmen liáo dào língxià wǔ dù xià xuě de tiānqì gēn língdù yǐshàng guā fēng de tiānqì nǎge gèng bú shūfú de shíhòu. Zhōngyú yǒurén xiǎngqǐ wǒ dì nà wèi péngyǒu, wèn tā shìfǒu yào qù zhōngguó xuéxí zhōngwén.

Wǒ péngyǒu yǐjīngguòle shàngxué de niánlíng, suǒyǐ dāng tā huídá 'shì' de shíhòu, dàjiā dōu juédé hěn qíguài. Tā gàosù dàjiā tā méiyǒu xuǎnzé, bìxū qù. Dàjiā dàng rán bù kěn fàngqì, xiǎng cóng tā zuǐ lǐ tào chū gèng duō de xìnxī.

'Wǒ bìxū qù.' Bèi zhuīwèn dé bù shēng qí fán hòu tā shuō: 'Wǒ zài zhuī dì nà bù mànhuà chūle xùjí, zhǐyǒu zhòng wén bǎn, méiyǒu wǒmen yǔyán de bǎnběn!'


她想要去中国学习中文


你可能很难相信下面的故事,但是我向你保证,这是真的。

大约一个星期前,我的一个朋友在论坛里发了一个贴子,她想知道论坛里有没有朋友到过中国学习中文。

接着,去过中国的那些人一個接一個地冒了出來,但却自顾自地跟其他人聊了起来。直到他们聊到零下五度下雪的天气跟零度以上刮风的天气哪个更不舒服的时候。终于有人想起我的那位朋友,问她是否要去中国学习中文。

我朋友已经过了上学的年龄,所以当她回答「是」的时候,大家都觉得很奇怪。她告诉大家她没有选择,必须去。大家当然不肯放弃,想从她嘴里套出更多的信息。

「我必须去。」被追问得不胜其烦后她说:「我在追的那部漫画出了续集,只有中文版,没有我们语言的版本!」



she wanted to go to china to study language


You may find the following story hard to believe. But I assure you it is true.

About a week ago, a friend of mine posted a question to a forum. She wanted to know if said forum had any member who had been to China to study Mandarin.

Naturally, people claiming to'd visited China emerged one by one and began talking among themselves. In the middle of a discussion about which one is worse, Beijing in -5 Celcius degree with snow or Beijing above zero but with the wind blowing, someone finally remembered my friend. She asked her whether she'd want to go to China to study Mandarin.

My friend's age was past when the age when people usually go pursue their education, so when she said yes, people were curious. She told them she had to go, she had no choice. It was understandable that by then people wanted to squeeze every piece of information out of her.

"I must go," she said after so many of us pestered her: "The manga series I've been following published a new book, and the only translation available is in Chinese language."